Being Present

I want to be present in my creature's life. When he looks back on his childhood I want him to remember when we played, laughed, cried, read, jumped, danced and everything else. I want him to remember WE did that together. Not that I just watched, but enthusiastically participated. I want to be excited and revel in his smallest accomplishments. To experience all of those moments again through him...how sound comes from guitar strings, or opening and closing a drawer. It is all so magical and new to my creature and I want him to know that I am excited for him too!

I don't have many of those memories. I don't have all that many memories of my childhood in general, but I have no memories of my parents being present in a real way. I am sure they were there watching, monitoring, making sure we were safe, but I can't remember them down on all fours helping me build a block tower or running around playing cops and robbers. My brother is the most prominent figure in my memories; we experienced life together. 

But where were Mom and Dad?

I know they did their best. My mom worked nights and although she desperately wanted to be more present, she didn't have the time or energy to fulfill that desire. My dad was out to sea quite a bit and I think his role as a father didn't include what we as children craved most...to have our parents experience our childhood with us. 

What does it mean to be present?

I think it requires a certain level of sacrifice for a parent to be truly present. The cleaning might have to be put on hold while a lego battleship is being built. Dinner might not be on time or gourmet, because an intense game of tag was taking place. Sleep might be sacrificed to finish the adult chores that were put on hold because you read three stories instead of just one. Thursday night shows may be missed because that game of peek-a-boo was just to important to interrupt.

It is really a sacrifice though? Shouldn't our children get our best, not the spare time we begrudgingly give them? 

Being present is the little things; the inconsequential times that mean the most. When Creature is grown I want him to look back and see me right there next to him and know that I cherished everyday with him. 

This is my goal as a parent. Hopefully, I can meet this expectation to the best of my ability and never regret not spending enough time with him.

Traveling with a Creature...the Saga Begins

We are planning a trip to Vietnam in late June and couldn't be more excited about it. Both P and I have been having some cabin fever since 4 years have come and gone since we last traveled. We are going to continue our exploration of Asia by tackling Vietnam. Han Noi, Ho Chi Mon City and Na Tran are our destinations throughout the country.

The first order of business to get this traveling underway was to procure a passport for the Creature. What is it like to get a passport for an 11 month old? Let me tell you...

First I checked the Department of State website and found out all the pertinent information.

I made an appointment with the post office to submit the paperwork. I called on January 4th and had an appointment by January 5th. I was informed to have the following materials:

An original birth certification (a copy will not work), which is proof of citizenship.

Both parents need to be present at the time of submitting the paperwork. If both parents cannot be present the Statement of Exigent/Special Family Circumstances needs to be filled out, notarized and presented at the time the appointment.

A white blanket (to hold as backdrop for the photos). We had the photos taken at the post office.

The passport documentation all filled out.

Both P and I were able to go to the appointment. We arrived at the post office and started the photo-taking process, which was ridiculous. He didn't want to be held by anyone but me, and the post office had the oldest digital camera known to man. Thankfully the postal worker was super nice and patient. He reminded me of Norm from Cheers. After spending about 7 minutes taking photos, we just had to provide identification and sign the documents. The whole process took about 2 days from start to finish and it costs about $120.

The appointment was on January 5th. The passport and birth certificate were returned by January 17th. All in all a much easier experience than originally expected.

DIY Valentine's Button Heart Decoration

My creature was born last year on February 14 and this year I am going to make his first birthday sickeningly Valentinesy. I am trying to make all the decorations and not to procrastinate until the last minute (which is my usual MO). Tonight's project was creating couple of cute decorations to put on the walls for the party. 

Materials:

Variety of buttons (I tried to make mine mostly of the red and pink variety). I found mine at Rosie's Calico Cupboard for about $4.

A canvas

Fabric to cover the canvas, also found a Rosie's

Hot glue gun

Cover your canvas with the fabric of your choice. I went with a sheet music pattern.

I then drew a heart on the fabric with a light grey marker. 

Now for the fun part, glueing on the buttons. I just poured out my buttons on the table and randomly chose them. I applied the glue to the fabric and then added the buttons. I tried to do it on the button first, but ended up with a few 2nd degree burns, so I left that method behind. I outlined the heart first and then it filled in. After the entire center was filled in I looked for gaps and areas with too much glue showing and added a 2nd layer of buttons. This not only covered up the glue areas but also added a depth to the decoration.

Easy DIY Yarn PomPoms

I am currently planning my son's 1st birthday party. He was born on Valentine's Day of 2013 and this party will be all hearts and love. I am sure he will never let me do a Valentine's themed party again. So I have to do it while I can.

I am making all of my own decorations to make sure everything is super cute plus it is cheaper. There will be several different types of garlands, one of which will be pompoms. I went with red and white yarn and will be stringing my pompom garland from the branches of my fruitless mulberry tree. I have about a month and several crafts to complete, so I was searching on Pinterest for easy ways to make pompoms. The best idea was to use a fork, but even that took way too long. So I improvised and came up with my own way that produced a great looking pompom and takes much less time.

Materials:

Yarn

Scissors

Two hands

First cut about a 6 in piece of yarn. Put it in-between your index and middle finger of your non dominant hand. In my case, it is my left.

Take the yarn and start wrapping it about the middle of the index and middle fingers. Don't wrap too tight. Keep wrapping until you have a nice little mound of yarn wrapped around the two fingers.

After you have finished wrapping the yarn, take the 6 in string and tie a knot around the middle. I find it easiest to tie a quick fairly-tight knot and then slide off your fingers and tie it as tight as possible.

After the knot is secure, take a pair of scissors and cut the loops on each side of the knot. Make sure to not cut the string that forms the knot.

You can trim the pompom to make it all uniform or leave it a little more whimsical and fun. Then string it up with a few others to make a super cute garland.

The best part is you can pretty much do this anywhere. Today I was outside watching the creature play while I made the pompoms. Yesterday I was working in bed while watching Netflix.

What I was meant to be...

I was meant to carry him in my body for 9 months. Giving him a place to grow and develop while wrapped in love. He was meant to fit perfectly inside me; close to my heart while he became the little human he is today.

I was meant to deliver him and then nourish him with this same body. Through me he flourished and for me it was the most amazing experience of bonding and purpose that I have ever felt.

I was meant to watch him while he eats, sleeps, plays, babbles, laughs, cries and everything else he will do in his life, because everything he does gives me the most intense pleasure and satisfaction.

I was meant to comfort and soothe. My shoulder was meant to cradle his little head as I rock him asleep and my hip was meant to support his growing self.

I was meant to lose sleep and gain gray hair as I worry and delight in his upbringing.

I was meant to care for him with every fiber of my being. The late nights and dirty diapers are of no concern because for him my love is unconditional and limitless. The selfish person I was does not exist where he is concerned, except for my selfish desire to spend as much time as possible with him.

I was meant to be tested and challenged. The experience of having a child will and has trumped all other experiences of my life and I revel in it. It is the hardest, most worrisome, anxiety-inducing experience yet I cannot image or even remember life before him. It is as if the love I have to offer to the world is infinite because of that little boy.

I was meant to be a mother.

So long 2013...you were amazing!

2013 was a fabulous year for me because this year I was blessed with the most amazing gift... 

my son, the creature.

With the entrance of the creature...

I have truly learned what unconditional love is. He has made me a more selfless and caring person. Waking up at 3:30 am to take care of him and changing a nausea-inducing diaper has become no big deal.

I have a much better understanding for my parents and how they feel about my brother and I.

I have become well aware of how effective sleep deprivation is as a form of torture.

I have become extremely envious of stay-at-home moms.

I  completely lost myself to being a mom and realized how much I needed to find balance. I am still working on this everyday.

I was able to breastfeed the creech until he was 8 months old, which was two months longer than my original goal.

With this creature each day of 2013 offered a blessing and it was so far, the best year of the my life. I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store.

Bacon Potato Soup

It's been a while since I have been on here and that can all be blamed on laziness and motherhood. Not sure which one is more to blame at this point!

My mother-in-law makes a great Bacon Potato soup and I just wanted to share this recipe with those who love soup! It is an easy make. It takes about 30 minutes from start to finish and the left overs are fabulous.

Part 1:

3 tablespoons of butter (preferably salted)
1/2 cup celery  (or leeks will work too)
2 tablespoons of diced onion (I just more like 1/2 cup because I like the flavor)
1/2 lb bacon cut into small pieces

Add all ingredients to a stock pot. Cook on high until bacon is yellow/tender.

Part 2:

2 1/2 teaspoons of salt (2 3/4 if you use unsalted butter)
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup flour (I make gluten free all the time and I use about 2 1/2 tablespoons of gluten free flour)

Add salt and pepper to the bacon/butter/onion/celery combo and mix thoroughly. Add flour and mix well.

Part 3:

1 cup chopped celery
5-6 potatoes (this is about three large russets)
4 cups of water

Add the rest of the ingredients to the pot and mix. Cover the pot and cook on high for 5-7 minutes.  Reduce heat to medium/low and cook until tender (about 15 minutes).

Part 4:

1 can evaporated milk

Add milk, stir thoroughly and cook for another 3-5 minutes.

And voila! Done! Caesar salad goes well with the soup and so does warm bread.